The brutal murder of my younger brother in Germany stopped me in my fast tracks to rethink about my life and its purpose. As I was vying to become number one in Bollywood, when suddenly one day I got a telegram from the Indian consulate in Bonn that my younger brother who was doing well in the hotel industry in Germany, had been murdered and that I would have to go and collect his body.

My brother had wanted to put a stop to some drug dealings that had been going on at the hotel where he worked. He refused to give in to death threats by those involved. They warned him not to interfere because it was dangerous. One night they killed him and threw his body in the lake, but the killer was caught. 

It was a very sorrowful and devastating experience for me. I couldn't help weeping openly as I stood looking at his room and all the material wealth he had acquired in Germany. I found that he had everything he wanted. Every kind of material item was there except my brother. That really hit me hard. It made me realize that tomorrow I would also have to go and leave everything behind. I realized then that I had acquired so much wealth, popularity and fame but it was all going to be of no use if one day I too would leave everything behind me and go.

That was the turning point in my life that led me to search God and reality. I returned to India with these thoughts troubling me. It got to the point where I would roam Bombay's Juhu beach all night searching for an answer. On one particular night, the police arrested me thinking I might have been involved in smuggling or some kind of criminal activity. They let me go once they realized who I was My search for answers led me to many places and philosophies , I still found no peace.


My search for answers led me to many places. Coming from a Roman Catholic background it led me to churches. I'd go to Mount Mary and ask the priest every morning to pray for me but I wouldn't find peace. I went to a lot of gurus, spending hours with them doing pooja and penance (Hindu religious rituals) but I still found no peace.

One day, I came across some born again Christians whose way of life, spontaneity, and worship, slowly and surely brought me to the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. I could feel their love for me. They cared and I could feel the spirit of God giving me the peace that I was searching. I experienced calmness in my heart.

From a vengeful person, I was transformed into a peace loving one. I was also able to forgive the killer of my brother. I was determined to kill him when he came out of jail after seven years. I did planed to do this with some bad friends in London. I don't know if I would have gone through with that plan. I'm not a man of violence. But there was this deliberate thought in my mind of trading revenge.

It was only when I met these Christians who showed me their love and care. They pointed me to Jesus and His love that He forgave everybody, even as He was dying on the cross. I was very touched by His sacrifice. I felt His love descending upon me and I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour. The choice I made was final. It was at a cost. Jesus said, "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world yet loses his soul?" I have lost my soul in Bollywood and found it back in Jesus Christ! I found peace, joy and happiness. And I clung to it.

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